August 22, 2020

During my internship atop Mt. Fuji, I learned the ancient art of… Just kidding! Here’s the recipe:

Quick note: This one was actually passed down to me from my good friend Roger. I’ve altered it slightly, but nearly all credit goes to him!

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb. ground pork
  • 1 green pepper
  • 1/2 yellow onion
  • 2 cups of diced cabbage (If you like cabbage.)
  • 1 tablespoon diced garlic
  • 1 box spaghetti noodles (Get thick spaghetti. Rice or egg noodles get slimy when re-heated.)
  • Sesame oil (This is key for that “Asian flavor”!)
  • White rice/wine vinegar
  • Soy sauce
  • Sugar
  • 1 big sauce pot and 1 big frying pan
  • Tongs if you got ’em.

Instructions:

  1. Prep first!
    1. Chop up all those veggies and have ’em ready. (You can also add cabbage, carrots, zucchini, or whatever hell else you want!)
    2. In a clear bowl, prep the “secret sauce”. It’s 1:1 soy sauce & vinegar. I’ve found 1/2 cup of each is the magic number for this amount of food. Get them whisked together and have your sugar on deck. 
  2. Start boiling spaghetti in the big sauce pot.
  3. In the big pan, start browning 1 lb. ground pork with the garlic, some dabs of sesame oil, and a bit of soy sauce over medium heat.
  4. While the noodles and pork are cooking, finish up the secret sauce. Keep whisking and start adding sugar until it won’t hold any more. Hint: check the bottom of the clear bowl to see if sugar is piling up.
  5. Now throw the veggies in with the meat. Add a little more sesame oil and a splash of the secret sauce you just made so it all soaks up more flavor.
  6. Drain noodles and put them back in the big sauce pot.
  7. Throw cooked meat/veggie combo on top of the noodles in big sauce pot. Turn on med-high heat.
  8. Whisk up that sauce again and pour half of it in with the meat and noodles.
  9. Start mixing everything together (tongs work best). Keep adding sauce as you mix and everything will turn a nice brown color. Once the sauce is good and sizzled on, you’re done! (The only thing you don’t want is a pool of liquid at the bottom of the pan so if you don’t use it all, that’s fine!)
  10. Serve it up! Goes perfect with Sriracha drizzled on top.

Enjoy my work? Please sign up for my newsletter to receive updates on new stories and free content!



August 22, 2020

When I was three years old, my grandmother… Just kidding! Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients:

  • 4 or 5 big ol’ garden tomatoes (6 – 8 store-bought.)
  • 1 green pepper
  • 1/4 yellow onion
  • 1 habanero + 1 jalapeno (This has a good zing to it. If you want “green-lid-mild” go with 1 jalapeno.)
  • 1/2 tablespoon of diced garlic
  • 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar (Or regular if that’s what you have.)
  • 2 teaspoons ground cumin (Or cumin seeds if that’s what you have.)
  • 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper
  • 2 teaspoon salt (Keep this handy, you’ll need it later.)
  • 1 freshly squeezed lime
  • 1/2 cup of chopped cilantro (If this tastes like soap to you, leave it out!)

Instructions:

First thing’s first, the ingredients above are just a guideline. I rarely measure and just toss in a bit of each until I get the taste to how I like it. If you don’t like something, toss it out. If you want to add something, toss it in!

  1. I use a Ninja blender, but literally any blender will work. Just make sure everything fits!
  2. Cut everything to manageable bits and toss ’em in the blender. (For example: I cut the tomatoes into 8 pieces first.)
  3. Squeeze every drop of that lime in.
  4. Put the lid on and blend until the inside looks like salsa.
  5. Unplug the blender!
  6. Dip a chip in there and taste it. Chances are it needs more salt, so salt to taste. If you like more of that cumin flavor or want it a little spicier, toss a bit more of that in as well!
  7. Plug the blender back in and blend again.
  8. Repeat 5 and 6 to taste.
  9. Now it’s YOUR World Famous Garden Salsa. Enjoy right away or put in the fridge for later! (Lasts about 2 weeks.)

Enjoy my work? Please sign up for my newsletter to receive updates on new stories and free content!

[/bt_text][/bt_column][/bt_row][/bt_section]